Don't Call Me A Moron

[super_astute]

Who: Wheatley & Chelldon
When: August 30th
What: Wheatley and Chelldon manage to escape Handy, GLaDoS and the rest of the insanity only to find themselves on Earth.

"This doesn't actually seem right," the android said, adjusting his optical correctors before he pulled them off of his face all together and tried to rub them clean.  "It's all a bit too bright.  Not Testing Chamber bright...less white and blue and more yellow.  Why would anyone use yellow tinted lighting?  Better question!  Who would use this green stuff for flooring?  It seems like a danger waiting to happen."

He and Chelldon had tumbled through the orange portal just seconds ahead of a smashy spike plate and found themselves standing in a place they had never been before.  There was quite a lot of grass and trees...

And a man standing by one of the trees with his back towards them and his trousers down around his knees.  Wheatley had no idea what he was doing, but he called to him anyway.  "Excuse me?  E-Excuse me?  Sir, excuse me?  Hello?  Yes, hello, excuse me, but can you please tell me the way to the elevator?"

Comments

[stubbornsubject]

'Doesn't seem right' was a wild understatement for their current issue, no test he knew could look like this, it was so big and endless and loud. And yes, bright. And there were many people here. Too many people. What kind of trial would be run with this many people... unless they were cannon fodder for a new weapons test. But there wasn't a weapon for him to test!

Chelldon frowned deeply as he approached a giant brown thing and idly poked it, moving back just in case it attacked. It didn't. Just stood there, lifeless, doing nothing, it didn't even attack. He vaguely recalled this thing from pictures he'd seen in his younger days. Tree? Was it a tree?

Crouching down, Chelldon pulled out a handful of grass and looked at it, sniffed it and was about to put it in his mouth when he heard Wheatley approaching some. No, no, no, no, bad, very bad. All people were hostile until proved otherwise. Leaping to his feet, he darted over to his companion and tried to tug him away, trying to silently make the point that this was a terrible idea.

Trusting no one was the safest option, especially not someone who had their trousers down.

[super_astute]

In this case, Chelldon was quite right. The man that Wheatley had assumed would be more than happy to help them out turned, dick still in hand from where he had been relieving himself. The android didn't even notice. He was programmed not to notice those particular things just in case he accidentally made his test subject feel inferior in some way. Humans has size issues of all sorts, in both directions! Really quite the bother.

"Yes, I'd-- Chelldon, calm yourself, it can't be good for you to be worked up just yet--"

He was cut off by the odd other man, tucking himself away, finally addressing the question. "Kensington Gardens, mate."

"A test chamber devoted to gardening? Think Wheatley..think-- AHH! I'm not connected to the central network! PANIC CHELLDON!"

[stubbornsubject]

Hmm, what kind of test required urination? This was getting stranger and stranger. Clearly this couldn't just be any sort of approved trial if there were people, green floors and people urinating. Raising an eyebrow, Chelldon turned his head and watched Wheatley panic with a well worn mask of neutrality as he often did. Years of practise that was, years of practise.

He could solve this, he just needed more time. And quiet.

"Panic," Chelldon parroted quietly as he looked down at the floor and across at the more solid grey looking floor. That floor looked more like the test chambers, maybe they'd just off-shot things a little and they needed to retreat? But then, why was Wheatley not connected to the central network.

Ignore the way the man was looking at them, Chelldon began walking forward, assuming Wheatley would just follow. They had to get to the greyish floor place, then they could go from there.

[super_astute]

Follow? Oooh, no, Chelldon, Wheatley did not follow. Well, sometimes he followed. Okay, it really depended on the test and if he was suppose to take an active role, or sit back and yell encouragements. It really depended! He couldn't pull up anything this time around, and while sometimes the test itself was blank, there was always a protocol page!

Maybe Tyler had gotten pissed at him? Oh, that awful Protocol Core, he was going to wring his little-- "Not now, Wheatley," he said to himself, just out loud. "Now is getting Chelldon to safety because his clones aren't able to be activated from here!"

He rushed right passed his favourite Subject, grabbed him by a squishy hand to remind him that sometimes Subjects could be squished, and dragged him down that winding gray road-rail-path thing almost violently.

It was a good thing that Chelldon could keep up.

Hopefully could keep up.

If not, Wheatley was good at dragging.

[stubbornsubject]

Frankly, he had no idea what Wheatley was doing or thinking but then, he rarely did. He just followed, able to match the pace, curious as ever. If he wanted to get them somewhere fast, he could have just said. Chelldon still had his portal gun, he was willing to fire it if it would save his legs a little. He couldn't run like this forever. Only two days and five hours as a previous trial had shown.

Once they hit grey surface, Chelldon yanked his hand free and halted to a stop. Why run anywhere when they didn't know what was happening?

He looked around for a sign, pausing when he saw one with arrows. Left to a train station apparently, there was some hotels going right and straight ahead was a bathroom and something with a 'P'. He wasn't certain.

Regardless, he pointed at it so Wheatley too could read the information.

Maybe it'd be best to go left and see if that would lead them anywhere promising. So, to make his point, he pointed left and stood there, arm outstretched, waiting for Wheatley to notice where he wanted to go.